


everyone has secrets, john

by lemon_alien_lime



Category: Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms, Sherlock Holmes - Arthur Conan Doyle
Genre: Bisexual John Watson, Gen, Mild Angst, Romani Sherlock Holmes, jsyk, no johnlock tho sorryyy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-21
Updated: 2018-08-21
Packaged: 2019-06-30 14:59:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15754077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemon_alien_lime/pseuds/lemon_alien_lime
Summary: A letter from a "respectable source" winds up in Watson's hands, revealing a secret about Holmes he had never even suspected.





	everyone has secrets, john

_what does he know_

A step more. Only a little further, past the tree. Yes. That one! You've got it! Brilliant boy.

_what does he **want**_

Go up, up! Yes, those steps. Watch the mud, boy. No, yes, yes, there's dirt that does not belong. But you can't mid that now! Go on, he's waiting for you.

_what does he **need**_

"Excuse me, sir?"

Introduce yourself. Yes, yes, just like that. Name. Tell her about Watson.

"Ah, yes. I am Mr. Sherlock Holmes. My friend Watson is expecting me?"

"Right, sir. This way, sir."

Sir! How pleasant!

_**they wouldn't call you that if they knew who you a-** _

Shut up! Shut up. You'll be fine, dear boy. He wouldn't know. He couldn't.

He mustn't.

_you're scared too_

...

I am.

Please don't be, dear boy. You're safe. You're safe. I'm here. We're here.

_call him by his real name, coward. you owe him that much that's who he is do it do it do it do it doitdoitdoitdoitdoitdoi-_

SHUT UP.

Oh, look! It's Watson's room. It must be. Yes, yes, yes, yes, he's your friend! He trusts you. You trust him!

Say hello, boy. Open that door and say hello.

_don't. back down. you can hear it too, can't you? stepstepstepstep, back and forth. he's pacing. he knows. he knows. avoid it now, while you can. you're in unfamiliar territory. unsafe ground. go back to baker street. explain it there._

Don't be silly. He couldn't possibly know. Go on. Turn the knob, step inside. 'Hello Watson.'

...

No.

What are you doing. Lift your hand. Open. The. Door.

OPEN IT.

_don't, please. it's not safe._

OPEN THAT DOOR RIGHT NOW.

Or are you just a filthy, cowardly, wretched mutt like they all said? Is that it? Were those bruises for nothing?

_silence. don't bother. it's alright. it's alright. you're smart, you're brave, you are the most upstanding citizen there is. don't mind them._

_what are you going to do, then? open the door? i can't stop you._

"Good afternoon, Watson. I received your telegram. You are-"

_worried? anxious, perhaps?_

"-rather busy, I see."

"Good heavens, Holmes! Do not pretend not to know the reason I have called you here, and not visited you myself."

_i told you. he knows. heknowsheknowsgetoutgetoutgetout_

"...What do you know, Watson."

_no, no! don't stay, please. it's unsafe._

"This. This! I cannot believe-"

Paper. Not Watson's. Crisp, clean, newly-written. Good quality.

It's a letter, dear boy. Go on, read it.

...

I was wrong.

So he does know. I'm so sorry, dear boy.

_'dear boy'. really._

Shut up.

"I can't- I'm- you _lied_ to me! For so many years we've known each other - and it was all a façade!"

Read on, read on. Who is it from? It could just be some unknown... Oh.

So it was Whitlock. That scheming, conniving, vile, man - he planned ahead. He planned ahead, gave the letter to an unknown confidant, who in turn sent it to your comfidant, your friend, your Boswell.

Oh dear. There's no stepping out of it now.

_will you still bluff? or will you admit it?_

"Country squires, Holmes! Country _bloody_ squires! You had me under the impression that your family was respectable! Now- now- _this_ proves me wrong.

"Grandnephew of Vernet! Brother in the government! Who is Mycroft, really? Who are _you_?"

He's angry. Oh, no. Oh no. Oh no, oh no, oh no, he'll tell everyone. He has the power of your reputation, your life, in his pen, he could just write one single story and you're finished, boy.

"Upstanding Englishman you are! You decieved me! I thought- I now know that you're just a-"

_stand up for yourself. this is who you are, you'll never change that. deep breaths, häns'che. deep breaths._

"Thief, Watson? A liar? A cheat? A mystical fortune-teller? A crude, unkempt ruffian?"

_yes, **yes.** go on. let him feel your rage. your exhaustion._

"You think that because _my people_ are forced to travel, without rest, without _settling_ in a safe place; that they are vagrants? _Filthy mutts_?

"The only reason I stand before you, the man I am today, is because of this-"

_show him your skin. so pale, just like him, just like the rest of them._

"I managed to work my way up because of an unfair genetic advantage my mother gave me - her flesh is what allowed me to survive in this _Hell_ you call civilized society.

"Everyday you treat us like we're worse than the mud under your soles - and I can do nothing to stop it; because if I did-"

_calm down. your heart's racing. you feel dizzy, don't you? relax your shoulders. you're very tense._

"I'm so sorry, Holmes, I was..."

_do you want to let him go on? he looks like he wants to._

"I was only shocked... betrayed, even. I felt as if you didn't trust me. When I received the letter I-"

He's crying now. Why? Should you comfort him? Reach out your hand. Oh. He flinched. Draw back, boy.

"I love you as I love my wife, and I thought that- that we could trust each other; that we kept no secrets between us."

_what._

What.

_'just as'? does he mean... no, of course not. surely he must mean 'as much', why on earth would he ever-_

Do something, boy.

"I suppose we both have our uncovered secrets, now-"

John Watson. Such a simple name. Watson's too impersonal for this moment, but if you use John, and you're wrong...

"-John."

"I suppose we do, Sherlock. If that even is your name."

"Hah. It isn't. But call me by it anyway."

"...Can I?"

Can he what? He's holding out his arms. An embrace? I suppose you must indulge him, boy, he knows after all. If he gets upset it could spell disaster.

"Of course."

He rather warm, isn't he? And soft. He fits just under your neck.

How odd this all is. How odd feelings are.

"Do you love me, too?"

What will you say?

_yes, or no?_

"I don't know yet, my dear. Believe me, I want to, but-"

Leave it in the air, boy. He will understand.

"That is alright, Holmes. And I'll keep your secret."

_i'm sure you know what to say._

Go on. Say it.

"As will I."

**Author's Note:**

> shoutout to the missing chapter names,,,,
> 
> if yall want more content like/about this, feel free to lemme know? id like to hear your guys thoughts


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